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Walls

The first thing you must do is ask yourself if you are letting people around you help you. This doesn’t mean accepting shit. This means are people making an effort? Are they trying to show you love and are you letting them? Or are you only feeling alone because of the walls that life has built around you? 

It is hard to tear down your own walls. But, you just find the places in your life that bring you pain and visit with them. Go to them and ask yourself why you are feeling this way. Ask that part of you what they remember. What do they see? What do they hear? What do they feel? All of this is important to hear and to hold because this is how you start to be with yourself. There is no other way. 

You cannot will yourself to be a permanently happy being. You must find the rot and nurture it into something that will once again bring you life. This doesn’t mean to remove it. This means to accept the rot as it is and to find a way to reintegrate this broken part of you. For it is a part of you and if you try and discard you will no longer be complete. When you are incomplete can you move in the world with poise? 

Give yourself time. Be patient with the pained parts of you that aren’t ready to sit with you and talk. Let whatever comes come and know that there will be something on the other side of this. Take care of who you are now and let it speak truthfully and without fear, for only then is when you can truly listen to yourself.